Source: Finding your community
To round out this first month of the New Year, and before we move into the wonderful “looove” month, let’s hit this last (but certainly not final) part of raising amazing kids.
While taking my daughter to her dance class, I heard a parent tell her child “you suck and you’re stupid” –all this because the child bought her the wrong kind of soda. I cringed and felt my face get HOT when this lady told her own daughter this. Stupid was a word my mother said needed to be excluded from our vocabulary. No one, especially a child’s parent(s), should ever speak such words over their child or any child for that matter.
This lady’s words may have not been harsh to you. But to me, it’s considered the starting point of installing low self-esteem and diminishing self-worth into our kids. “We inherit our parents’ beliefs about ourselves. We grow up internalizing the messages we receive from our parents and peers.” I most certainly won’t make it seem as if my child is perfect. However, there will not be a time when I intentionally make her to feel like crap or even worse –less than. If ever I do, I pray to feel so convicted in my soul that I immediately apologize to my child and right my wrong.
I once dated a guy who asked me how I knew I was beautiful. I mean this dude really said, “Your grades and/or accomplishments show you are smart, but how do you know you’re beautiful?” It was like he was challenging me to look at my self-worth in the form of beauty. I looked him square in the eyes and with a very matter of fact tone said, “It’s how God made me, so I didn’t have a choice in the matter”. I soon learned this guy hated my confidence and could not understand why he could not emotionally or mentally break me. I thank God for a mother and father, who to this day, still tell me “I am God’s chosen creation and I am beautiful” amongst a host of other positive affirmations. Could you imagine what the opposite effect would have had on me?
I personally try my best to remind my little one of two facts no one can ever take away from her: (1) You are God’s child and (2) You are amazing! I make her repeat and scream it back to me:” I AM GOD’S CHILD AND I AM AMAZING!” Yes, I literally make her scream it because I want her just as excited about who she is as I am. If her answers ever dwindle into the negative zone, I ask why she feels this way, while countering each negative ideal with positive reaffirmations. I also let my kiddo know that God designed her to make a great, positive and powerful impact in the world! I remind her, though she is beautiful, it’s minor to the MAJOR person she is now and all she is destined to become!
I challenge you to speak greatness over your child(ren) every day!
Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue can bring death or life…”
Your Restyled Mom…who received a Gift from God and He made her to be #BeautifullyAMAZING!
Though I started the #TuesdayExchange a little while back, I am excited to actually announce it. So in brief, here are the details:
Restyled Mom is dedicated to building a community. We want to uplift and inspire, but Restyled Mom also recognizes that we are not alone in this quest. With that said, please share in the comments, your blog, your Instagram posts…whatever and where ever you post. Share it!
Restyled Mom wants to read it and share with others. My hope is that you too will join The #TuesdayExchange and share some of the other lovely bloggers out there.
On Tuesdays, my blog is your blog. Welcome to The #TuesdayExchange.
Your Restyled Mom…who is committed to God’s Glory First & the rest will follow.
Since a few posts back covered raising amazing kids as well as capturing ideas and inspiration, I figured it would only be right to share some of the inspiration and lessons I have received from my kiddo. So let’s jump right in…
Get excited, even if it’s just for the little things.
- I reward performance, and my daughter did very well in school. She had been struggling with being a Chatty Cathy during class, and she finally mastered her mouth! Lol. While in Wally World (WalMart) grocery shopping, she asked for silly putty. This was by far the BEST one dollar spent on my kid. To see her play for hours with this simple treat made me realize Lesson #1: Smile and be excited for the small wins in this single parenting life or just life itself! Don’t wait for the big grandiose things. Get excited NOW! Walk with confidence knowing God has already equipped you for this very moment. “For we walk by faith and not by sight.” II Corinthians 5:7
Have a giving spirit.
- While in the airport, my daughter saw 2 very energetic little girls with their parents -who looked exhausted. The children seemed to have no toys or coloring books, and were having what appeared to be minor meltdowns. My kiddo asked if she could ask their parents if the kids could color with her. It’s as if she knew these parents needed relief (why she doesn’t seem to sense this with me…I don’t know). I digress…lol. The parents looked so grateful for a moment to breathe, which brings me to Lesson #2: Giving doesn’t have to be extravagant; it just has to be genuinely from the heart. ” Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion. For God loves a cheerful giver.” II Corinthians 9:7
Laugh, Laugh, Laugh and Laugh some more!
- To hear my daughter’s innocent and sweet laughter brings a calming, yet excitement to my soul. How God has blessed me with a kid with such spunk and personality…it just amazes me! Sometimes, we as parents, get so caught up in the latest hype; the single and lonely saga; or the my kid should have the latest and greatest. We can easily miss Lesson #3: Learn to laugh things off and make the most out of your lemons (lemonade, lemon pie, lemon squares, lemon fudge, etc.) “He will yet fill your mouths with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” Job 8:21
Bonus: Just Dance!
- There is a time for everything. Might I suggest Just Dance for the Wii? Lol. Seriously Restyled Moms, we’ve got to be healthy. It isn’t limited to what you eat, but it’s also about being physically fit. We’ve got kids to keep up with! “Praise his name with dancing…” Psalm 149:3
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned from your little ones -no matter the age?
Your Restyled Mom…who is open to Re-Learning a few things 🙂
If you want to have style without blowing all your cash let me help teach you how to thrift your way to the wardrobe you want!
I so enjoy the numerous blogs out there –from the inspirational and culturally informative blogs right down to the make-up and style blogs. I realized something ALL these blogs have in common –at least the thriving ones. I realized all these blogs are full of someone’s ideas and inspiration.
In this New Year, as you explore and become re-acquainted with the amazing person you already are (betcha didn’t know I knew this about you huh?!)… Well…as I was saying. As you become more in tuned with your amazingness, I challenge you to write your thoughts down and make it happen.
Even if you’re not one for officially “journaling”, I still encourage you to take this year to write down everything you want to see happen in your life. Now, understand, I am not saying that every single thing is going to happen just because you wrote it down. However, what I am saying is there is something about re-visiting your writings and seeing how much has come to fruition. It’s almost like it energizes you to keep pushing! Also, it helps to see where your focus is or where it should be.
Do you want to be debt free? Write down a budget, make a money plan, read and research. You want to travel more, than get the plan written out. (Side Note: Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henrietta Klauser is a good read). I don’t care if you write something to the effect of “2016, start a blog about…”, then explore what you want to start blogging. Just do it! Write down all the things that inspire you and all the ideas you have to get to where you want to go -no matter how extravagant or minimalistic it may be.
(Disclaimer: This post was also inspired by all those great ideas floating around about what to do with a Powerball lottery win). You are more likely to achieve your own personal goals, without winning the lottery, if you simply get serious about Y-O-U. Invest those two bucks in a cute notebook. Write yourself love letters; ramble about the exotic spot you want to visit; explore all your Pinterest ideas (I know you want to try EVERYTHING on there).
Care to share one of your Making It Happen in 2016 ideas? I’d love to hear it; comment below. You can also tweet with the hashtag #MakingItHappen2016. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting pen to paper and exploring!
Your Restyled Mom…who is enjoying this adventure, taking notes along the way and #MakingItHappen2016!
As I look back to the post “The Bitter Bag“, I began to think about my daughter and what drives me to dump the “angry black woman”. She is the driving force! All that I choose to be is who she sees. I don’t know about you, but my desire is for my child to be better and to live better than I. I want to set an example that she can proudly look to become, while enthusiastically seeking to do better than myself -some might say the imaginary bar.
Here are what I consider to be the Top 3 Ways to Raise an Amazing Kid:
- Be the example. I don’t have a PhD like my mother, but the example she has set for me epitomizes the strength of a woman, grace in stillness and humility in kindness. As of now, I have no desire to get my doctorate, but I do have a desire to love the Lord and be a woman of God. ” Thank you for giving me Jesus”, were the last words I heard my mom say to my grandmother. How profound; my mom too has given me Jesus. Ask yourself, “What type of legacy am I building and leaving behind for my kid(s)?” Though I am sure my mom would like for me to be Dr. Restyled Mom, I am grateful for the Christ like example she has set for me. For this I say, “Doc, thank you for giving me Jesus.”
- Speak it. Your words have power. Our children NEED to hear and KNOW they are intelligent, creative, intuitive, kind, beautiful, brave and any other positive adjectives. “There is beauty in spoken words that build and uplift. These words can be hope in a world appearing to be in a downward shift” -Restyled Mom
- Be firm but fair. Unfortunately, this world has its snarling teeth ready and waiting to tear our children apart. I think part of building a child is being firm in your words and actions but also being fair about it. Children need to know there are consequences for their actions. They also need to know that you have their best interest at heart, while still loving them to the moon and back.
Bonus: Be able to laugh at yourself, accept and admit your mistakes, and HAVE FUN! What kid wants to grow up saying my mom was an old sour faced woman, who didn’t know how to have fun! Or in the words of my little one “such a bossy pants” (lol).
(Disclaimer: If you don’t do these things, your kid may still be amazing; however, the potential of being a ‘buttmunch’ rises significantly. Studies have shown this…lol…really…ok, maybe not officially 😉
Your Restyled Mom…who has the pleasure of raising one #amazing kid!