Level Up Friends

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of speaking with a friend who shared how God spoke to her. In her obedience to the Master, she was able to quit her job and become self-employed.  I am sure these types of testimonials are not rare; however, seldom do these things happen within my inner circle.

But wait….there’s more.

She went on to tell me how God’s abundance started flowing in once she quit her full time, well paying job.  This friend spoke of how she told God all about her student loan debt, debts in general, Financial Peace University and how this left her feeling uncertain about the decision to quit her job. Why am I bringing this uncertainty portion to your attention? It’s because you need to know that God loves when you detox and tell Him everything (I mean ereThang)…that’s like the super duper extent of everything! When she told God of her fear yet remained in him (John 15:5), He blessed her by having her student loan debt forgiven PLUS speaking engagement offers rolling in.  ALL IN THE SAME DAY!!!

So how does this relate to “Level Up Friends”?  Well I am glad you asked.

While I do believe in having friends from all walks of life, I strongly believe in having friends who build you up spiritually.  My friend did not know it at the time, but I was having a minor faith walk battle myself, and to hear her testimony reminded me of just how awesome GOD IS!  Not just his awesomeness but also how much he wants to bless our obedience and dependency in Him alone.

Level UP  friends will encourage you (sometimes unknowingly); will lovingly yet sternly call you out on your stuff; will have your back but won’t condone foolishness; will be your iron to sharpen you back up (Proverbs 27:17); will pray for and with you; will push you to never settle on complacency; will remind you to stop being a distraction to yourself; will always remind you there is NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO and keep praying for His will to be done and not your own.

Who ya with?! I encourage a lot of you to re-evaluate some of your friendships and determine whether these relationships are God ordained or sly distractions deterring you from the person who God truly desires for you to be.

I hope this message spoke to someone and you share it with your Level Up crew.

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…whose #squadgoals have been met.  To God be the glory!

P.S. Guess who’s back 😉  More blog posts coming…

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Trying to Come Back…

I’ve been missing in action for a few months now.  Being a full time working, single mom is a tough gig.  I prayed and specifically asked God for increase in my job and guess what?!  He increased me in my job!  Go figure.  However, I am not complaining, not one bit.

Now, I am returning to Restyled Mom with the hopes that I can find my balance.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been reading a great book – “Fervent” by Priscilla Shirer.  So here on this page, I share my specific prayer that God will allow me to graciously return to Restyled Mom with the Holy Spirit leading the charge.

Today, Restyled Mom community I pray the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and intervene.  Today, I pray a prayer of right now.  Right now God will take the charge and open windows of blessings to your soul as you open yourself to Him and his leading.

Get specific in your prayers and while you are making your comeback, from wherever you are in this moment, know that you’re not alone.  I’m making mine too!

Sincerely,

A Restyled Mom…who is getting real specific and coming back.

Downplay-itis…Effects & Cure…Because Love Awaits You

downplayitis

Within my circle, it has been discussed how men are intimidated by a strong woman who has herself together and sing Beyonce’ songs like “Who Run the World”. As the conversation looms on, I hear women with brains and beauty saying they will downplay their higher education and/or accomplishments (i.e. Master’s degrees, PhDs, CEOs, lead engineers, etc.)  I myself can say I am guilty of this awful disease; I will call Downplay-itis (an inflamed down play of yourself).  I have accomplished great things along life’s journey, but feel I must downplay myself so as to not be intimidating.

Here are the Top Side Effects and Cures for Downplay-itis AKA Downplaying Yourself:

  1. Side Effect: You are not offering your true self. You are constantly acting, rehearsing your lines and hoping to get it right. Cure: On a first date, maybe even a second date, don’t go into a whole resume submittal detailing all of your degrees and/or accomplishments. Though some dates are similar to an interview..the whole getting to know you thing, THIS IS NOT AN INTERVIEW! Yes. You are the bomb.com. But NO. Do not give it all away on the first date –intellectually or physically. While I am in no way saying be ashamed of all you’ve done, I am saying hit the highlights then allow your date to interject. If asked for further details, by all means expound and share. Allow it to all happen organically.
  2. Side Effect: Downplay-itis, while dating, will potentially carry over into your professional life as well. After an interview, how many times have you wished you would have mentioned all those great attributes you possess and accomplishments you have achieved? Well my friend, THIS IS THE TIME! Cure: Write out every magnificently awesome thing about yourself as well as the things you want to improve and/or achieve. Figure out which to offer up on a date and which are best for landing that job! Too much work? Well look at some of your past failed dates and past interviews then get back to me and tell me how it could have been better. Put in the time to knowing yourself better. This may be the very thing you need to lead you to your greatest opportunities to grow in various areas of your life. This is a great lead in for the third side effect.
  3. Side Effect: You stunt your own personal growth and you merely exist. For a butterfly to become the beautiful creature that is meant, it must go through stages (known as metamorphosis). Though there may be more for you to achieve, it may be hard to see the path to get there if you are downplaying the path you have already travelled for the sake of being “the right woman” for a gent. How can you go through the needed growth stages to become the woman you desire if you do not own the woman you presently are? Cure: Acknowledge and Accept that you are a woman of many accomplishments –some big, some not as big. Nevertheless, they are YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS! For me, I worked two jobs and paid for grad school out of my own pockets. So when and if the topic comes up…uhhh yeah!..I’m gonna enthusiastically tell you about that experience, but will always remain humble (Also see the first side effect).
  4. Side Effect: You miss out on your gifts. Don’t mistake the companionship of a significant other as the main gift. Downplay-itis will cause you to miss out on the gift of being inspiring to yourself and most importantly –inspiring to others! There is someone needing to hear and know what and how you have achieved all that you have thus far. However, when one suffers from Downplay-itis, this person’s achievements will either be viewed as trivial and/or not worth obtaining. In turn, an additional side effect will ensue, where an onlooker may become deterred from his/her own path of greatness. Cure: Be true to who you are. You never know whose watching and taking notes.

Let’s enter this “Love Month” (aka February) with the mantra “The gent in my presence will choose to either be proud or intimidated. It is not for me to choose his degree of comfort within himself so as to accept the comfort I have with myself.”

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…who is applying The Cure

The Mother of All “S” Words NOT Allowed In Our Home

S wordsTo round out this first month of the New Year, and before we move into the wonderful looovemonth, let’s hit this last (but certainly not final) part of raising amazing kids.

While taking my daughter to her dance class, I heard a parent tell her child “you suck and you’re stupid” –all this because the child bought her the wrong kind of soda. I cringed and felt my face get HOT when this lady told her own daughter this.  Stupid was a word my mother said needed to be excluded from our vocabulary.  No one, especially a child’s parent(s), should ever speak such words over their child or any child for that matter.

This lady’s words may have not been harsh to you.  But to me, it’s considered the starting point of installing low self-esteem and diminishing self-worth into our kids. “We inherit our parents’ beliefs about ourselves. We grow up internalizing the messages we receive from our parents and peers.”   I most certainly won’t make it seem as if my child is perfect.  However, there will not be a time when I intentionally make her to feel like crap or even worse –less than. If ever I do, I pray to feel so convicted in my soul that I immediately apologize to my child and right my wrong.

I once dated a guy who asked me how I knew I was beautiful. I mean this dude really said, “Your grades and/or accomplishments show you are smart, but how do you know you’re beautiful?”  It was like he was challenging me to look at my self-worth in the form of beauty. I looked him square in the eyes and with a very matter of fact tone said, “It’s how God made me, so I didn’t have a choice in the matter”.  I soon learned this guy hated my confidence and could not understand why he could not emotionally or mentally break me.  I thank God for a mother and father, who to this day, still tell me “I am God’s chosen creation and I am beautiful” amongst a host of other positive affirmations.  Could you imagine what the opposite effect would have had on me?

I personally try my best to remind my little one of two facts no one can ever take away from her: (1) You are God’s child and (2) You are amazing! I make her repeat and scream it back to me:” I AM GOD’S CHILD AND I AM AMAZING!”  Yes, I literally make her scream it because I want her just as excited about who she is as I am.  If her answers ever dwindle into the negative zone, I ask why she feels this way, while countering each negative ideal with positive reaffirmations.  I also let my kiddo know that God designed her to make a great, positive and powerful impact in the world! I remind her, though she is beautiful, it’s minor to the MAJOR person she is now and all she is destined to become!

I challenge you to speak greatness over your child(ren) every day!

Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue can bring death or life…”

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…who received a Gift from God and He made her to be #BeautifullyAMAZING!

 

The #TuesdayExchange

THE _Tuesdayexchange_editedThough I started the #TuesdayExchange a little while back, I am excited to actually announce it.  So in brief, here are the details:

Restyled Mom is dedicated to building a community.  We want to uplift and inspire, but Restyled Mom also recognizes that we are not alone in this quest.  With that said, please share in the comments, your blog, your Instagram posts…whatever and where ever you post. Share it!

Restyled Mom wants to read it and share with others.  My hope is that you too will join The #TuesdayExchange and share some of the other lovely bloggers out there.

On Tuesdays, my blog is your blog.  Welcome to The #TuesdayExchange.

Sincerely,

Your Restyled Mom…who is committed to God’s Glory First & the rest will follow.

 

The Day I Realized I’m An Awesome Mom – the crunchy mommy

Race for the Cure and time with my daughter

The kid and I (#RestyledMom) @ Race for the Cure

Being a mom is hard and something that we don’t always feel like we’re doing so well. Here’s an “a-Ha” moment where I realized that I AM good enough!

Source: The Day I Realized I’m An Awesome Mom – the crunchy mommy

Shout Out to Your Destiny

Discouragement is always lurking its ugly head around the corner like a stalker.  How many times have you been elated, on a natural high, just thinking about the positive moves you are making or will soon make?  How many times have you had your plan of attack in place and then WHAM!?  Out of nowhere, the sink gets clogged, your child is acting like a total ‘buttmunch”, and/or the ex calls (ironically right when you are getting to your ‘I’ve moved on’ point).   It has happened to us all, but let’s try to start looking at this differently.

When life is hitting you with those sharp, closed fist punches, stand tall and give a Shout Out to Your Destiny!  Sounds strange?  Yeah, I know.  However, there will be things that will come in an attempt to rob you of your joy, your self-motivation, your happy feelings (I really enjoy Frankie Beverly and Maze J). Nevertheless, stand tall and think about the fact that you are destined for greatness, and your greatness is only as great as you are willing to make it.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Continue reading